Hatton Vale SS- 4B- Haiku

Last week of term 1 (second week back teaching from my ankle injury) and I was given the pleasure to teach the very good students of 4B at Hatton Vale State School- another one of my favourite schools! 4B were a delight to teach, and I believe as a published author, we all can take a lesson from some of these talented students. The simplicity with which they capture and utilise their writing skills is commendable. I taught them haiku my two days with 4B and here's what they came up with:

stray horse
comes along
drinks winter puddle

by Jackson

*the reason why this haiku works effectively is that we are seeing the image of a stray horse, that is connotative of an abandoned, lost animal in a perhaps barren field. The use of 'winter' in the haiku compliments the image of a 'stray horse' in a sense that we associate 'de-growth' with winter. The image and emotion of this haiku is clearly at a high level.

oak tree
to sit under
and read books

by Stevie

*the second line in this haiku is unexpected. In a lot of haiku written by the 'experts' or 'adults' in the haiku-based literature, we usually see a much larger 'imaginative-leap' e.g. oak tree/ in last night's dream/ I held grandfather's hands... But in this case, Stevie has captured a very simple yet refreshing moment in time. The image of an oak tree works well with that of a book, due to the bark, and pages of the book. An oak tree is large that offers up shade, to allow a pleasant reading session of a book.

rainy day
sunset fades
sad people walk away

by Kaylah

*once again, everything in this haiku is written with careful attention of word choices. In a rainy day, we usually feel a bit glum; and to add to that, it is sunset, also, can be interpreted as another 'glum'- lack of daylight, oncoming night, etc. and then we have the image of sad people walking away. This last line makes you think: why did those people walk away? What has happened for those people to walk away? What were those people doing anyway? Also, in a rainy day, coupled with the sunset, the image is that of a wide expanse of sunset-hued overcast or clouds which have a quite colourful/ dim effect to it. 

people happy
rainbow shines bright
river flows into pond

by Connor

*people being happy coupled with the image of rainbows are a good example of what images work together. But the hero of this haiku is in the third line- 'river flows into pond'- let me explain why: the river is symbolic of things that make you happy or a universal thing that offers up a sense of joy, etc. the 'pond' is symbolic of the person receiving that piece of joy from the universe. Excellent.

gray rock
next to river
on a mossy shore

by Jasmin

*the sense of peace and tranquility that is described and captured in this haiku is very encouraging. The use of the phrase 'mossy shore' is original and is what experts in the field of writing poetry/haiku strive for when they seek to make unexpected and awesome phrases in their poems. I'm assuming this student reads a lot. 


That's it from me 4B, it was a pleasure teaching you the last few days, hope to see you around, quite possibly after my book launch in April. Till then, have a happy Easter!

Mr. Pham.