Year 4A Woodlinks State School Haiku

Hey bloggers, your newest haiku update awaits you. Today brought me to the very obedient and hard-working class of 4A at Woodlinks State School. What I have observed through my day-to-day class hopping is that the quality of haiku/ poetry does not necessarily differ upon the age of the person. What I'm trying to say is, whether the person writing the haiku is in grade 4, or grade 7, or is 25 years of age, age is not necessarily a large factor in determining the quality of the haiku. The point of haiku is quite simply, to capture something in its beauty. The language of haiku is universal, unbound by age range. Some of the haiku generated by my students are just as good, if not, even better than any haiku that you may find in world-class haiku journals that are consisted entirely of adults. One other important point to make is that adults can fall easily into the trap of making a 'complex' or 'mature' type of haiku, but when say, a young student may attempt haiku, it often comes from the purity and essence of haiku, which is, as noted before, the art of capturing something in its beauty or simplicity. On to the outstanding haiku of 4A, and can I just say, well done, keep up the good work, you all are doing a great service for capturing nature in its rawest and most beautiful form. My best wishes, Mr. Pham.

Top 10, Song 1:

I climb
tree to tree
while the sun sets

(by Charlie)

*this was chosen because we get a sense of innocence and joy from the person climbing tree to tree, a sort of halcyon-time. And also, we are all seeing the activity of tree-hopping in all of its joy under a colourful (pink, purple, red, blue, etc) sun set. Lovely image and feel.

wind whistles
as trees shakes
under moonlight

(by Danae)

*you cannot go past the beauty of this piece. We are hearing and seeing the wind, trees rustling, all under the glowing image of the moon.

waves crash
as I stare
at the lonely starfish

(by Sarah)

*this was chosen straight away. We are hearing and seeing waves crash, but the second and third lines are what really packs a 'punch', such longing and loneliness captured whilst the writer is watching wave upon wave of sadness engulfed...But, there's also a sense of hope, through the image of the starfish, it symbolises hope.

trees sway
in the sunset
wind

(by Isaac)

* several ways this could be read. trees sway/ in the sunset wind or trees sway in the sunset/ wind. Very nice, makes us think.

clovers
grow
in the grass

(by Olivia)

*the effectiveness of this haiku is in its simplicity. We are seeing the image of a green clover, and adds more green to the grass. A lot of my students were struggling with the concept of keeping it simple, for example in a haiku, you don't need to say 'blue, wavy, windy ocean' you just need to say 'ocean', because we immediately associate 'blue', 'wavy', and 'windy' with the ocean anyway. This was excellently executed, well done Olivia.

clear waterfall
heavily falls into
a rainbow

(by Mia)

*love the expression 'falls into a rainbow'.

summer clouds
gentle pushes
over the river

(by Aiden)

*this haiku struck me straight away. Two interpretations I could take from this, first we could be seeing the image of summer clouds, and children on the river are pushing each other along gently, both the fragment and the phrase compliment each other well. Second interpretation, could be that we are seeing summer clouds, and they are just gently crossing the river. Well done Aiden.

rocks
fall
off the cliff

(by Nathan)

*again, this gets the simplicity vote. Good work.

I stare at trees
during a heavy
storm

(by Brooke B)

*the believability of this poem is valid for over the weekend there was a sudden storm of hail throughout Brisbane. But the feeling of the writer experiencing the wonders of nature are unbeatable, here we have a person just staring at the trees as it rains. Lovely, we get a snapshot of the writer's personality appreciating nature too which I think is just awesome!

clouds drifting
around
the waterfall

(by Josiah)

*the reader can get several takes from this, we could be seeing actual clouds around the waterfall, or it could be that we are seeing the 'mist' or 'cloud' formulated from the crashing waves on to the ground.

Top 9 Haiku - Second Song

the grass
waving
at the river

(by Aiden)

* loved the use of the word 'waving'.

sun
carefully crossing
the river

(by Blair)

* either the sun is crossing the river, or the person is. Makes you think. Fantastic haiku!

butterflies
shine through
the sky

(by Sarah)

*we're seeing lots of colour from the butterfly, and its all illuminated by the bright sky.

the sun is reflecting
off the ocean when
I stare

(Brooke B)

* a bit of a happy-staring at the waves this time!

tree branches
fall
on to the ground

(by Sam)

*how did the branches fall to the ground? What caused it in particular? Makes us think.

winter river
whistling
down stream

(by Gemma)

*either the river is whistling or the person walking by it is, or both! Great work.

smelling
a river
in the breeze

(by Tyler)

*I can smell it already. So fresh.

the rainbow crosses
the long
field

(by Maselusi)

*the use of 'rainbow' and 'long' work particularly well, they compliment each other.

I see
bee to bee fly
while sun sets

(by Blair)

* what intrigued me about this haiku is the expression 'bee to bee', reminiscent of a dot to dot activity that a child may do, or even in reference to the stars that will be visible very soon in the haiku...

Well done 4A! Some excellent haiku here, Mr. Pham